I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Is it because I queefed?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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