Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Randomize
