He disabled his match.com account in front of me
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
