I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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