you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
