No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
