Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
