last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
