yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I'm passing your future prison.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I want to fling myself into the sun
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
