i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
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