she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Actions speak louder than pants.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
