it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
3pm strippers are depressing
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I supernannyed him into submission
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
