They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Randomize
