thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Life is so much better after having sex.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
