So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
You had me at "let me see your balls"
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