matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
