We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
