We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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