We got so high we made milksteak
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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