you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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