Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I can text with my tongue
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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