then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
