You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
