I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
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