hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
