Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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