her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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