go do what you do best...puke behind churches
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
COCAINE IS GR8
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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