I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Randomize
