i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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