Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Randomize
