I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
