Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
