9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
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