The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
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