i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
Michael Bay diarrhea
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
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