Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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