Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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