I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
