im drinking this country out of the recession.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
