so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
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