it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
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