I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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