how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize