Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
sarcasm needs its own font
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
