Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
