I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
