I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
