his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Randomize
