We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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