Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
