New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
