what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
