tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
