Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
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