Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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