There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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