life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Randomize
