I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
