I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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