This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
