I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
