i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
