i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
