Only a mothe r could love this liver
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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