Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
